3 PayBacks, 2 Nerds, 1 Bar
by the-vampire-act
Summary: I think the title says it all.....Please R&R!


3 Paybacks, 2 Nerds, 1 Bar

"..........ONESHOT that came 2 me last nite, and wont leave me alone.... not a big numb3rs fan, so sorry if i spell any names wrong!.WARNING: extremely retarded. sensitive readers should turn back now......"

Austin walked through the streets of L.A. with Amita. The BAU in Quantico was called in to help Don Epps' team on a case that was exeptionally brutual. Fortunately, Spencer Reid had once again solved it using his knowledge of everything. The two women had decided to leave the men at home, and go for a girl's night out around the town.

In the middle of a heated debate about which Winchester brother from Supernatural was hotter (Amita swore it was Dean, but Austin had stubbornly said that it was Sam), Austin's phone had started ringing. "Oh, it's Reid." she said, and answered the phone. "Hello?" she answered. An evil grin crossed her face. "I'm in.....but I'd have to ask Amita.....hold on, I'll put you on speaker." Austin giggled.

Amita looked at Austin with curiosity. "What does he want?" she asked.

"Hey Amita?" Charlie's voice said over the phone. "Reid and I overheard a conversation between Morgan and Don, and they want to take us to a bar, but....." Charlie's voice dragged.

"But what?" Both Amita and Austin asked.

"But they said they wondered if nerds were fun drunks." Reid added. "Oh, and hi Austin!" he added.

"They want to get us drunk.......seriously drunk." Charlie explained.

"NO!" Austin shouted. "I used to be a bartender, and I KNOW what happens when two guys go to a bar!"

"We weren't planning on going!" Reid said defensively.

"Damn right you aren't!" she yelled with anger.

"Hey, we weren't calling you to ask for permission. We were calling you to ask if you would help us get payback on them." Charlie interjected.

"What kind of payback?" Amita asked. She could practically hear the evil grin on Charlie's face.

"The evil kind......" Charlie said. Reid and Charlie took turns explaining the plan to their girlfriends.

"So, will you help us?" they asked.

Austin and Amita stared at each other, both women smiling. "You can count us in!" Amita declared.

"Hell yes! Anything for you,Spencey!" Austin yelled excitedly.

"Okay, see you guys soon. Love ya!" both men said. With that, Austin clasped her cell phone shut.

"I can't believe we're gonna do this!" Amita giggled.

"This is going to be so much fun!" Austin exclaimed. The two girlfriends practically ran back to their cars, and broke the speed limit, ran a few stop signs, and blew all the red lights as the drove drunkenly back to Amita's office on campus, where they waited for the phone call from Charlie and Reid.........

FBI Headquaters

Reid and Charlie suppressed their smiles as Morgan and Don asked them to go to the bar with them. "Sure, we'll go." Charlie answered.

"See, I told you they would want to go!" Morgan said to Don.

Don put his hands up in mock surrender. "Sorry, I just didn't think Reid or Charlie were the bar hopping type." he smiled. "My baby brother's refused any offers to go to a bar with me, but he has no problem drinking at home." he said as he put his arm around Charlie's shoulders. "How 'bout you, Reid? You like bars?"

"Nah, Reid doesn't like bars." Morgan answered for him with a smile. "But I guess that would have a lot to do with me always trying to et him up with a date whenever the team goes to them." he laughed.

"How many times have a told you I don't need you to play match-maker for me?!" Reid exclaimed.

Everyone chuckled at that. "Well, apparently you didn't need me. Considering you met Austin at a bar that we went to while ON a case, and you two have been together ever since."

The men started walking towards the parking lot, when Charlie excused himself to go to the bathroom. "You guys can keep going. I'll catch up with you in a second." Charlie said. He smiled as he pulled out his cell phone, and called Amita. "It's time." he said very seriously.

"Thank god! We've been waiting ages!" the two women replied. Charlie hung up his phone, and put it back in his pocket as he jogged to catch up with the other guys.....

Local Bar

Don, Charlie,and Reid laughed at a joke that Morgan told as they drank their first beer. Morgan insisted on paying for the first round. Little did Don and Morgan know, their nerds had already started their plan by changing the topic to Star Trek.

"What was your favorite season?" Charlie asked Reid excitedly.

"Hm.......I don't know. What's yours?" Reid said drunkenly.

Don and Morgan exchanged glances, noticing their plan was working smoothly.

"Um.....not that I'm not a Star Trek fan, but-um....I think I'm gonna go now. I still have a ton of paperwork from the last case to do." Don said.

''Yeah, me too." Morgan said. "Will you two be fine here alone?" he asked.

"We'll be fine, Dad." Charlie slurred in the same way Reid did to suggest he was drunk.

"Alright crazy kids. Don't get in too much trouble." Don and Morgan left their young companions behind, and walked out the door, laughing and smiling. "They are so drunk!" they exclaimed in a whisper.

Charlie and Reid laughed, knowing well enough that they had bought the act. "I can't believe they actually thought we were drunk!" Reid laughed. Charlie joined in with his company's laughter.

Wow....that was too easy!" Charlie agreed. "On to stage two!'' he added as he pulled out his cell phone. He got on to his phone's camera, and lifted his head up.

Reid sighed. "You know, my team HAS always suspected I was gay....well, until they caught me making out with Austin,that is. Still, I'm not looking forward to this part." Reid frowned.

Charlie rubbed Reid's arm roughly. "It's okay- we'll get through this together. Just...." he sighed, and reached for the can of breath mints in his pocket. "Just eat a mint- your breath smells like beer." he concluded. Charlie himself took one,too.

"Excuse me, uh...." Reid said to the bartender, searching for a name tag or something with his name on it.

"You can call me bartender. No way in hell I'm gonna tell two FBI agents my name." he answered.

"I'm not an FBI agent." Charlie said.

"Well, your boyfriend is." the bartender smirked. "So, what did you want?" he asked Reid.

"Oh, yeah. We wanted to ask you if you would take a picture of us making out for our girlfriends." Reid asked as if it were the most natural question in the world.

"Wait, so you two aren't gay?" the bartender asked, confused.

"No, we aren't." Charlie answered, slightly offended.

"Bummer, I was gonna ask one of you out." he replied with a sigh. "Hold on, then why are you two gonna make out?" he asked curiously.

Reid and Charlie smiled. "To get revenge on his brother, and another agent who were going to try and get us drunk." Reid explained.

''Um....I'm not positive on how that will help you get revenge, but considering I'm gay.....sure." he answered.

Charlie gave the bartender his phone, and turned his stool so he would face Reid.

"God- please don't use your tongue!" Reid teased.

"I won't if you won't!" Charlie laughed. He turned his head towards the bartender. "Ready?" he asked.

"You bet I am!" he replied a little too excitedly.

Charlie could hear Reid's heart pounding, and laughed. "Relax! It's not an actual kiss!" Reid could only nod his head.

Charlie leaned his head in, and Reid followed suit reluctantly. Charlie put his hand on Reid's cheek, and pulled his face in- seeing that Reid couldn't bare to move any farther. He was completely paralyzed, and Charlie found the bright red blush on Reid's face amusing. Charlie pulled closer to Reid's face, and his lips finally touched Reid. He gave him a huge, sloppy kiss. Reid clenched his fists, and squealed. Charlie was glad pictures couldn't contain sound, because the squeal would've gave them away.

"Got it!" the bartender laughed. He, like Charlie, found Reid's squeal hilarious. Reid immediately pulled back from Charlie and gasped. "God, Charlie! You bit my freaking lip!" he squealed.

Charlie couldn't help but laugh at Reid's little tantrum- he sounded like a child! "Hey! Don't laugh at me! I just made out with you so you can get your freaking revenge! And you bit my lip! Can I at least have a napkin? You drew blood." he started hysterically, but calmed down mid sentence.

The bartender laughed as he handed Charlie a napkin, which he passed to Reid. "Sorry,man. I really didn't mean to bite you." he said with a smile, barely suppressing his laughter.

"Thanks. And I should tell your GIRLFRIEND you bit my lip whil making out with me." he pouted. Charlie laughed at how Reid was reacting to this.

"Do you pout like that when you make out with Austin?" Charlie grabbed Reid's cheek, and said, "Cause it's just so darn adorable!" he teased.

Reid growled, and pulled back. "Just send the damn picture."

"Fine, fine!" Charlie said in mock defense. Charlie looked back up at Reid when the pix was sent, and smiled.

"Now, the funnest part!" He grabbed the two sheets of sticky paper protected by a laminated sheet that would be peeled off when used. He passed one to Reid, and one for himself. Both men peeled the sticky part off, and took a wet napkin from the bar counter.

"What's that for?" the bartender asked.

"Fake tattoos." Reid grumbled. His lip was killing him!

"Of what?''

"They say 'SPENCERxCHARLIE 4 EVA." Charlie answered with a laugh. "Wait til' my brother sees this!"

"Darn- I can't reach! Charlie, can you help me put this thing on?" Reid asked.

"Sure....." Charlie said after he put his on. He took the tattoo from Reid, and instructed him to lift up the back of his shirt. "Is that where you put yours?" Reid asked.

"Yup." he answered as he held the tattoo on Reid's back. After a few minutes, he pulled the rest of the paper of.

"Thanks." Reid said. He lowered his purple shirt again, and sighed. His stomach grumbled, and he wondered when he had last ate.

"Should we call the girls now?" Charlie asked. Reid nodded his head, and so Charlie pulled out his phone.

"Ready?" Amita asked.

"Yeah, we're good." Charlie answered.

"Okay- we're coming to pick you guys up. Bye!" Amita hung up. She shut her cell phone closed, and giggled. She turned to Austin, and said very evily, "It's time...."

Austin jumped up and down in delight, and screamed like a little girl. "Yay! Let's go!" And so they went off........

Charlie and Reid walked outside, and then to Amita's car. "Hey girls, thanks for doing this." Charlie thanked.

"No problem- we were gettin' kinda bored with shopping." Austin replied.

''Hi Austin- I missed you.'' Reid said as he hugged Austin.

"Aw, I missed you too,Spencey!" Austin complied.

"Geeze! You two are making me sick!" Amita yelled. Charlie put his arm around Amita, and kissed her cheek. She smiled at him, and then starting driving off.....

FBI Headquarters in LA

Reid and Charlie stayed put in the car, and Amita and Austin stomped angerly in their heels towards the building. "This is gonna be so much fun!" Amita whispered

"Pissed-off girlfriend mode?" Austin started. "Engaged!" Amita laughed at that.

When the girls entered the building, they threw their purses down, and practically flew up the stairs, and into Don's office.

'YOU!" Amita yelled.

"I'M GONNA HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR THIS!" Austin added.

"DID YA THINK WE WOULDN'T FIND OUT?!" Amita said with attitude.

"Whoa....hold up ladies! Just what exactly are we talkin' about here?" Morgan asked.

"LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW!" Austin yelled.

"DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME!" Amita scorned.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THAT! MORGAN, EVEN FOR YOU? THAT WAS PRETTY DAMN LOW!" Austin screamed.

"AND YOU, DON? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THAT TO YOUR OWN BROTHER!"

"YOU TWO GOT THEM SO DRUNK, THAT THEY SENT US THIS LOVELY PICTURE! AND GOT MATCHING TATTOOS!" Both women yelled. Amita got out her cell, and showed them the pix of them "making-out." Austin whipped out her phone, and showed them the pix of the tattoos.

Morgan and Don exchanged troubled looks. "I think we should run now." Don whispered. Austin, overhearing this, ran up to Don and bared her nails into his neck. She wrapped her body tightly around Don's stomach, and squeezed his neck.

'HOW DARE YOU!" she screamed as Amita went after Morgan, who had ran out the room.

"OH, YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY THAT EASILY!" Amita yelled as she ran down the halls like a predator after prey. Morgan screamed like a little girl, and ran right out the doors of the FBI. Amita smiled, and turned around- very pleased with he work.

Soon after, Don and Austin came running down the stairs, and Don yelped for help as he followed Morgan. Austin broke out in laughter, and Amita followed suit.

Colby and Rossi, who had heard the whole scene, looked at the women curiously.

Austin took out her flip phone, and called Reid. "Okay.....you can come in now."

Charlie and Reid came in soon later- both laughing their heads off. "Did you see that?! They looked like idiots!" Charlie laughed.

"That's what they get for screwing with us!" Reid added.

"Wait- so that little scene was all for payback?" Colby asked incredulously. Both Charlie and Reid shook their heads yes.

"Morgan and Don were planning on getting Reid and Charlie drunk." Austin said.

"So Charlie and Reid put their heads together.........and well, here we are now!" Amita explained.

Rossi smiled. "Remind me not to piss any of you off." he said- pointing to Amita, Austin, Charlie, and Reid.

"Hey, I could really go for some ice cream right now. Any one wanna come?" Colby asked. With that, Reid, Austin, Rossi, Charlie, Amita, and Colby walked out the door once more, and set out for an ice cream shop........

" (:LOL that was twisted.......sorry about the crappiness that is this story! and sorry 4 any grammer/spelling mistakes- this was a looong oneshot, so i didnt edit...me = lazy!!Please r&r- even if its just to say this really sucked!"


End file.
